Tag Archives: Royals

An Early Hanukkah Gift: From “Royals” To “Oils”

She's not yet lost all her gelt.

She’s not yet lost all her gelt.

Like to get festive just a little bit early? I offer you this. Hanukkah may still be a little ways away (two weeks from today), but I thought I would throw my hat into the ring and offer up some lyrics that you can sing along to for the big day. After all, it’s a time to be joyous and celebrate and maybe discover a parody or two online in the meantime. So, here I am celebrating at the expense of 17-year-old Lorde‘s massive #1 single that’s still topping the charts and might be purchased with some lucky gift cards during this season. I hope you enjoy my little tune (and don’t eat too many potato latkes – your stomach will pay for it the next day.)

Have a great Hanukkah,
Adam

(P.S. If you’re liking it, let me know below or on social media, and I’ll be sure keep the fun continuing on the blog during this holiday season.)

“OILS”
A parody of Lorde’s “Royals”
From the (fictitious) album Pure Hanukkah

[Verse 1]
I’ve never spun a dreidel painted fresh
I cut my lip on chocolate gelt from the wrapper
But they’re so proud of how I blessed
At the menorah, then we play after

[Bridge]
And every game’s like
Roll shin, don’t win, put another coin back
Next play, roll hey, now I’m picking up half
I don’t share, we’re drinking Manischewitz ‘til it’s clean
And then the game goes
Nun’s up, no luck, get it on the next shot
What skill, gimel, now you’ve won the whole pot
I don’t share
Now, here’s the story of our answered prayers

[Chorus]
We don’t have enough oils (oi-ls)
To run the length of Hanukkah
Yeah, that supply will never stay
We need the stuff that runs eight days
Reading ‘bout how the Jews were (Jews were)
You can call them Maccabees
Miracles come true (come true, come true, come true)
Let me live that history

[Verse 2]
We stuff our mouths with sufganiyot
Say “Chag Sameach” in the car to our Grandma’s
And in the window, candles glow
Unwrapping gifts, no time for Santa

[Bridge]
And back to dreidel like
Roll shin, don’t win, put another coin back
Next play, roll hey, now I’m picking up half
I don’t share, we’re drinking Manischewitz ‘til it’s clean
And then the game goes
Nun’s up, no luck, get it on the next shot
What skill, gimel, now you’ve won the whole pot
I don’t share
Now, here’s the story of our answered prayers

[Chorus]
We don’t have enough oils (oi-ls)
To run the length of Hanukkah
Yeah, that supply will never stay
We need the stuff that runs eight days
Reading ‘bout how the Jews were (Jews were)
You can call them Maccabees
Miracles come true (come true, come true, come true)
Let me live that history

[Middle 8]
Oh, oh, oh-oh
My latkes are the dish supreme
So pass around the sour cream
Oh, oh, oh-oh
And applesauce, the perfect pair
The Festival of Lights is in the air

[Chorus]
We don’t have enough oils (oi-ls)
To run the length of Hanukkah
Yeah, that supply will never stay
We need the stuff that runs eight days
Reading ‘bout how the Jews were (Jews were)
You can call them Maccabees
Miracles come true (come true, come true, come true)
Let me live that history

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TOP TEN: Everybody Wants To Rule The World

No tears or fears here.

No tears or fears here.

It’s been #1 for six weeks on the Hot 100: “Royals” by the now 17-year-old singer from New Zealand named Lorde. The international smash was ultimately going to inspire some cover versions, but now it seems like everyone and their mother wants to jump on YouTube and upload one. It’s kind of insane how many new ones are popping up every day. So, of the hundreds and/or thousands of takes out there, I’ve narrowed it down to ten that I really enjoy. They aren’t ranked in numerical order, but each version has its own quirks and are all worth a listen. Check these ten covers out:

AMERICAN AUTHORS
Release Date: August 6

The quartet from Boston, now based in Brooklyn, is currently tearing up the Hot AC charts with “Best Day Of My Life”. This band’s version is a folksy take with some really great uplifting harmonies and cheery hand clap line. This is as upbeat as it gets.

CIMORELLI
Release Date: September 20

The six sisters in this band have a fairly large viral following; I first blogged about them when their single “Made In America” went to radio in June. Their cover has some small lyric changes, but works well with a great vocal and some snapping fingers.

MAYER HAWTHORNE
Release Date: October 4

Hawthorne is having a great year on my personal top 40 with three hits from his recent album, Where Does This Door Go. Performed live for VEVO, this guy is smooth and soulful. It’s a risky arrangement, but he and his band pull it off flawlessly.

MUTYA KEISHA SIOBHAN
Release Date: October 8

The Origibabes, as some call them, charted earlier this year in the U.K. with a song called “Flatline”. Their take is stripped down to just acoustic guitar and their three-part vocal, and the harmonies that they’re known for shine through beautifully.

NEON JUNGLE
Release Date: August 22

These gals from London just missed the U.K. top ten earlier this year with their debut single called “Trouble”. The quartet’s version stays true to the original with a little more hip-hop edge, along with a solid vocal and, of course, a cute British charm.

PARACHUTE
Release Date: September 10

They just released Overnight this year, and as a part of an ongoing web series, lead singer Will Anderson posts covers of current songs in the studio, just he and his piano. Bare bones and vulnerable, his emotive remake has a lot of girls swooning.

PENTATONIX
Release Date: October 2

At over twelve million views and counting, the five-piece a cappella group from Texas likely have the most watched cover when it comes to “Royals”. You know their vocals are rich and their percussionist is strong, making this quite the success.

SELENA GOMEZ
Release Date: August 20

Disney kid and pop singer Gomez is touring around the world to promote her latest hit album, Stars Dance. Lorde’s publicly spoken out against her, but she keeps it restrained and to the point, and while it may not be the best of the bunch, it’s pleasant.

SHEPPARD
Release Date: November 5

Their self-titled EP went Platinum in Australia and just last week, their “Hold My Tongue” topped my chart. Maybe I’m a little biased when it comes to this sextet, but the initial sparse arrangement into pop/rock jam along with those harmonies is gold.

WALK OFF THE EARTH
Release Date: August 11

From up north in Ontario, the quintet’s made a home for themselves on YouTube and on radio with singles like “Red Hands”. The five find the most inventive ways to cover songs, and this is no different, with rotating ukuleles, drums, keys and more.

Just in case you can’t get enough “Royals” remakes, some other noteworthy versions out there include Kina Grannis & Fresh Big Mouf (August 12), MKTO (October 22) and Taryn Southern & Julia Price (August 4).

For more on Lorde and the rulers of the web and the charts, follow the blog below or hit the “Get Social!” tab to find out how you can connect with PGTC on social media.

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The Royal Rankings: Rulers Of The Charts

Sovereigns of the singles chart.

Sovereigns of the singles survey.

There’s a celebration going on in the United Kingdom as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, William and Kate, welcomed a baby boy into the world on Monday. His name has not yet been revealed. The coverage of the event is continuing on all the major news networks, so, how can I ignore it? With a musical twist on the announcement, let’s look back at the royalty that made the charts, both in act name and in song title. They reigned over the charts for several decades, and now, the crown jewels are on display for music historians to gaze upon:

ACTS
Since the Hot 100 began in 1958, there have been eight acts to royally make the top 100 with their regal names. The majority of them were groups, with only one solo singer in the bunch:

BILLY JOE ROYAL: Georgia-born Royal had nine Hot 100 singles between 1965 and 1978 (with a number of near-misses), but the best known of them was his first, “Down In The Boondocks”. It went to #9 in 1965. He has also had a successful career on the Country charts in the mid-to-late 80’s.

ROYALTONES: The quintet out of Michigan made Billboard’s chart just twice, with their first single “Poor Boy” reaching the top 40 in the fall of 1958, going as high as #17. The second of the two was released in 1981 and didn’t go past #82. Several members struck big in other music acts.

THE “5” ROYALES: They were big on the R&B survey before the Hot 100 even existed. However, their only song to make the pop chart was “Dedicated To The One I Love”, a #81 single in 1961. It was bigger for both The Shirelles (#3, 1961) and The Mamas and The Papas (#2, 1967).

THE ROYALETTES: The girl group out of Maryland charted with the original version of “It’s Gonna Take A Miracle”, which later became a top ten single for Deniece Williams. Their version went to #41 in 1965. They made the Hot 100 once more before splitting apart a few years later.

THE ROYAL GUARDSMEN: The sextet from Florida scored big when they put a character from the popular Peanuts comic strip into their music. “Snoopy Vs. The Red Baron” was hot seller during Christmas 1966, spending four weeks at #2. They had a total of seven singles make the chart.

THE ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA: In the early 1980’s, the music industry decided the medleys were in again. As a result, “Hooked On Classics”, mixing together pieces by Bach, Beethoven and Tchaikovsky (among others) against a rhythmic beat was a hit, going to #10 in 1982.

THE ROYAL SCOTS DRAGOON GUARDS: Though their album initially bombed, their bagpipe-heavy version of the standard “Amazing Grace” spent five weeks at #1 in the United Kingdom. It climbed to #11 on the Hot 100. They had a handful of other charting singles in Europe, but none here.

THE ROYAL TEENS: The group out of New Jersey was best known for their 1958 hit, “Short Shorts”, which went to #3. You may know it as the song from the Nair commercials. After a minor top 40 followup, the group struggled on the national charts and its members went onto play in other groups.

SONGS
As for the noble song titles to capture the nation, they are fewer and far between. Only four have made the Hot 100, with one charting actively as I write this. Let’s see if you remember any of these:

“Her Royal Majesty”, James Darren (#6, 1962)
Actor and singer Darren was best known as Moondoggie in a series of Gidget films in the late 50’s and early 60’s, but he also charted with a string of ten singles on the Hot 100. “Majesty” was the second-biggest of them (#6) following “Goodbye Cruel World”, which went to #3 during the previous year. He last made the Billboard charts in 1977 and last recorded in 2001.

“Casino Royale”, Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass (#27, 1967)
From the film of the same name which portrayed James Bond (played by David Niven) in a more comical light, Alpert and his band provided this theme song, which played over the end credits of the film. It was a minor entry on the Hot 100, but it became the group’s second #1 on the then Easy Listening survey (now Adult Contemporary chart) for two weeks in length.

“The Royal Mile (Sweet Darlin’)”, Gerry Rafferty (#54, 1980)
Originally a member of the band Stealers Wheel, known for the big single “Stuck In The Middle With You”, Rafferty found even more success as a solo act with five top 40 singles in a row, including the #2 “Baker Street” from 1978. This was his last single to make the pop chart, featured on the album Snakes and Ladders. He passed away two years ago at the age of 63.

“Royals”, Lorde (#74+, 2013)
She’s only 16 years old, but she’s done a lot more than most 16-year-olds I can think of. Ella Yelich-O’Connor, known as Lorde, has a top-selling EP in The Love Club and this song, which went to #1 in her home country, New Zealand. It’s already up to #74 on the Hot 100 and is solidly in the top ten on Alternative radio. Look for it to dominate here in the U.S. this fall.

For more on the kings and queens of the music world, follow this palace of pop I call my blog down below or find me on Twitter: @AdamFSoybel.

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